AND THEN THE STORM WAS OVER

WhatsApp Call – August 2013

Sheyla: Hey! Just saying hi from the airport! Got back from Rhodes. I am vacillating between Antalya and Amsterdam for the second part of my vacation – as long as it starts with an A.

Evan: Cool choices. Give me a heads up if you decide to come to Antalya.

Sheyla: You need an alert? Why, it’s a big city, don’t worry!

Evan: I kinda feel you’d like to see me if you come to Turkey thou!

Sheyla: Well, not sure, we didn’t part as friends exactly. And I don’t really care anymore!

Evan: It is more than 1000km away from Istanbul, I am not worried at all! I have moved for a reason! To get away from being near you! Hahaha!

Sheyla: Predictable statement. Fabulously moronic as usual…

Evan: Haha, did you forget to take your meds, baby? Went from being polite to arrogant in 4 sentences. Thank you anyway! For the compliment, that is!

Sheyla: Arrogant? Now that is what I call a compliment, coming from you! Oh, you are so lucky I got my period so my mood swings are over and I am back to my cheerful self again!

Evan: Hey, girl, since you are cheerful, I want you to know I am at Bozcaada. And it is beautiful here. Not that I am trying to make you jealous or taking revenge for Rhodes, just thought you should know!

Sheyla: Revenge for Rhodes? Do explain yourself, please.

Evan: I was jealous! Good enough?

Sheyla: Jealous of my vacation? Babe, let’s not forget we were supposed to go on vacation together, but you left me high and dry in February and also, you forgot to INFORM me you had broken up with me! Then you conveniently broke off with that teacher girl as well and, oh, poor forgetful you! You simply forgot to tell her!

Evan: Easy, girl, I am in a good mood!

Sheyla: Oh, you got your period too? Always had my doubts about your manhood….

Evan: Awww, you got more jealous than I did. Poor Sheyla! I am sorry that we have such good beaches here! Too good for bitches like you, hahahaha!

Sheyla: You make it hard for people to feel glad for you. Map out everything I should visit when I go there. ALONE! Anyway, my bag is out, bye!

Evan chuckles and hangs up without saying a word. Later that day he cannot resist.

Evan: OK, here is a map for you: any Aegean beach you go, you’ll be fascinated. any lake in Aegean region, wow!

Sheyla: That’s really helpful NOT! Thank God I have the Internet!

Evan (lovingly): Calm down, baby, I really mean what I wrote. Aegean at any beach is a good vacation. And too bad my vacation is over so I can’t take you. I would love to have shared all those moments with you.

Shayla sounds cold: And how was I supposed to know that?

Evan: You should have, we talked all winter. You going to Rhodes without telling me hurt me so I guess I still like you… a lot….so….hmmm….

Shayla, losing it: WE DIDNT SPEAK FOR THREE MONTHS! YOU STOPPED REPLYING TO MY MESSAGES AND CALLS! YOU HAD A CHANCE WHEN I TOLD YOU I CAME BACK AND HAD MORE TIME OFF SO ENOUGH! I am not holding that against you though, so I guess I still have a thing for you.

After a short musing: Who would say you were playing me?

Evan: Playing? No. I told you that being far is a problem and tried to stop our conversations long ago. Still having a chance to come here and be with me and not using the opportunity seems wrong to me. I am not telling you to offend you but to clarify what I think.

Sheyla: Look, we can go on and on like this forever, so here’s my clarification by numbers: 1. You challenged me to start a relationship with you on October 5th and even called me a coward when I TRIED TO BACK OFF but no, you wanted to “go into it full on”! 2. You stopped contact with me for a while. I already had a lot on my plate so that just tipped the scale and I unfriended you. 3. No reaction, “you haven’t noticed, blah blah”, so I was like, ok, he’s done with me, moving on. 4. I re-initiated contact on several occasions but your reaction left me convinced there was no point. 5. Went to Rhodes and back and told you I had more days off (“vacillating between Antalya and Amsterdam”- remember? Your reaction wasn’t exactly “hey, how about going on vacation together”. 6. I am not a mind reader. I poked and stirred and made conclusions based on the reactions I got. Like reactions, like conclusion. Sorry but stop putting the blame on me entirely. You wanted to stop conversations? So everything begins and stops when you decide? Ok, consider them stopped. I will still give you a call when we happen to be in the same city, it’s up to you whether to reply and all.

Silence. Evan ponders what to say. He is still so much in love with her it hurts. He decides to be brutal.

Evan: OK, here are my points: 1) Yeah, I did, my reasons already stated and more at the end. 2-3) That wasn’t nice but don’t check at people all the time if I am still friends with them or not because I don’t expect them to unfriend me while I did nothing to offend them. Hard to recognize really. 4) I had a girlfriend that I could see in real life at that time. 5) You should have told me before you had made arrangements not after. And when you told you had more time off, I didn’t. I was already at my aunt’s house having a vacation. I wouldn’t abandon them in the middle of it. As I told earlier, you should tell me at least 1-2 weeks before to make plans. I don’t act on urges. 6) Yeah, me too.

More silence. Evan waits with bated breath. He admits defeat: Just come here if and when you can. I want to see you.

– You’re a contradiction itself… – Sheyla says quietly.

– You wanted me to reply.

– Just answer the phone when I get there. That is all I ask.

November 2013

– What’s wrong?

– I think I’m coming down with a flu, 37.5℃.

– You gotta be kidding me? It’s a mild cold, just lie down.

– Can you make tea the same way my mom makes it?

Sheyla laughs and thinks “All men are such kids”. They’ve been living together for two months. He has a love-hate relationship with his mom. But “Can you make tea the same way my mom makes it?” is hilarious.

– OK, what should I do?

– She puts mint leaves, lemon wedges and honey in a pot and simmers it for 20 minutes.

– OK.

Sheyla still has no idea how they ended like this. Evan checks the apartments in her country so that they could move there to be closer to her grandma. She flies there for three days a week, Friday to Sunday. She still recalls her first night in Evan’s 6-bedroom apartment. Their subsequent fight revealed so many underlying issues.

– I thought you didn’t even like having sex with me, you creep!

– Hahaha!

– What’s so funny?

– You were doing your best for half an hour, made me feel desired, snuggled like a kitten later, what’s not to like?

– Ah, so it’s technical, good to know! And you timed me for further comparison, that’s so sweet!

– Shut up! I didn’t time you, I liked your patience with me!

A moment later: And there was nothing technical about it!

– You behaved as if I came here to choke you up in some relationship or even worse, trap you in any way and said so, that was terrible. I am not that stupid or that naive or that …fill in the blanks by yourself!

– I don’t know how to respond to this. I didn’t know I made you feel that bad last night. I am truly sorry.

– I’m done now, forget it, just had to get it off my chest. I don’t like unresolved issues.

– No, I am feeling like shit.

Sheyla hesitates: Look, it was a great evening, I enjoyed it very much (despite that episode) and was very happy and you, my friend, are not that shitty since you are raiding, so stop it. Serves me right, hooking up with a gamer!

Evan listens to her, remembers how she feels when she hugs him, how he loves taking her hand and carrying her things, even her purse…A thought strikes him:

– When do you ovulate?

– Why? My period just ended.

– I want kids with you.

Sheyla starts laughing:

– Hey, you don’t need to go that far to make up for last night!

Evan grins sheepishly, a little embarrassed by his own intensity, but the warmth in Sheyla’s eyes reassures him. She nudges him playfully, shaking her head, and the tension between them softens as they both realise the sincerity behind each other’s words. The air grows lighter, the awkwardness fading, and for a moment, all that remains is the quiet comfort of being together, talking honestly, and daring to hope for more.

– I am taking you out tonight. Wear a nice skirt and that red shirt.

– Haven’t brought any skirts. I am wearing black pants and heels.

– I prefer women in skirts.

– I prefer men who are not control freaks.

– What’s wrong with me wanting to show people my girl has great legs?

– I am not wearing a skirt!

– Yes, you are! A woman should do as a man tells her! Try to be obedient once in a while!

– Obedient????? OBEDIENT??? Go find a servant, you….you….PERSON!

Sheyla is so angry she can hardly breathe.

– In that case find as many girls in as many skirts. I’m out! I guess they are all obedient!

She takes her suitcase and starts packing.

Evan grabs her: – I’m not losing you over a stupid skirt. Wear whatever you want.

– Oh, now it’s not a problem?

She throws the suitcase in the corner of the room and looks at him:

– I have several questions for you. Question 1: Why would YOU need an obedient woman? I thought you liked me being independent and all. Question 2: when you have a thing with a woman/girl, how long before you decide to dump us? Question 3: What is the most common age group that you have been dating?

– What are you up to? You can’t analyze human relations with such simple questions.

– Figuring out expiry date.

She looks down fighting back tears. Evan goes cold. She thinks he will simply leave her? She has no idea how he felt when he decided he couldn’t wait for her any longer to make up her mind about coming to be with him. She has no idea how her presence makes him feel calm and stable. She has no idea he has had sudden images flashing through his brain featuring her by his side, surrounded by kids. Their kids. How he misses her when she leaves, longs to wake up with her in his arms.

– We’ll never have that. – He hugs her and doesn’t let go.

– Sure? – she asks, all limp in his bear hug.

– Nope. The Apple stores don’t sell that!

Sheyla pretends to hit him. Some people have God, and he swears by Apple stores. She feels relief.

January 2014

– My grandma broke a hip, I need to go home!

Sheyla is in tears. Evan realizes she needs to go and she expects him to come with her. She has always refused money or any kind of financial or material help, but she needs his emotional support. He can’t do it. He doesn’t want to do it. He knows he is selfish but he wants her with him forever. If she goes away, it may be months before she comes home to him. Still, he drives her to the airport at dawn.

They don’t sleep all night. Sheyla knows that is a bad sign. Every time there is a sleepless night, it’s usually the end. They part in silence.

– How are you doing? – she asks a couple of days later.

– Drinking my ass off for three days straight. Now I am starting on the fourth. Whiskey binge, yeehhaaah!

Sheyla is silent. He quit drinking 8 years ago. This is bad. Seems the expiration date has been reached inevitably. She closes the laptop lid as she holds her grandma’s hand.

October 2019

– I need to talk to you. Don’t hang up!

Sheyla is quiet: – Go on, she says.

– My wife kicked me out of the house and has filed for a divorce. Do you have time?

Sheyla is taking a brisk walk with her best friend Ian. She puts Evan on speaker and says:

– Go on, I’m listening.

Evan tells her every little detail, every dirty secret. When he is done and they hang up, Ian is flabbergasted.

– How come he tells you all that stuff?

Sheyla is silent for a while.

– Because I am the only person who knows him best and doesn’t judge him. And he trusts me.

Ian thinks about what he has heard and chuckles:

– Bet he wouldn’t have a problem with you not being obedient now!

Sheyla sighs. No, he wouldn’t but seems expiration dates do not apply to feelings. Yet, she blocks Evan for a week. She doesn’t feel like revisiting the past.